Hes got the X-Factor

Hello again and thanks for the support I have received on my blogging.!!!


My little auty is mad for "In the night garden". I have to say its a nice programme but for a kid nearly 5 years old it seems a step backwards. The DVD is on most nights and he rewinds, fast forwards every minute to his fave bits. Does anyone else's children do this at all? Its not just rewinding to the beginning but constantly using the FF/RW buttons. Anyway, this show (and Pingu) fascinates him and I wondered is it because there isn't any real speaking or a language used. Its nosies. bright colours and doesn't really need to be understood and thus is not likely to give him stress or make him anxious and that could be the key??? I wish I knew or could simply ask him!!!!


Auty son is still singing, especially at bedtime. He would wow the audience with his speed singing and big blue eyes. I reckon Dannii Minogue would vote for him. :-) The hokey kokey is his favourite right now and does the whole song in about 15 seconds. Old McDonald is hanging in there but he now says eee iii eee iii owwwwww when he is stressed. This is an improvement on screaming or hand flapping I know, but it does get odd looks in public. It is tiresome sometimes feeling the need to explain his behaviour due to autism to strangers and I know some other parents have told me they have same issue.


On Sunday we went to Duxford for a remembrance service and to see the aeroplanes. We had a couple of hours seeing the planes but didn't manage to do the service as the wheels had fallen off by then. Auty boy was once again not interested in his surroundings but the lift in the museum was like a moth to a flame. I have to say I gave in and we had some up/down open/shut quality lift time. This was fine until we left the lift and the floodgates opened. The tears came, the runny nose, the volume level rose and basically didn't stop until we were back in the car. I got some seriously "bad parent" stares for the next 20 minutes from strangers. However trying to explain reasons for leaving behind the highlight of the day to an autistic kid, just isn't easy. It all goes back to not understanding what he is thinking and why. So upsetting to see your children cry but to not be able to explain why you are making them cry is heart breaking.


This weekend I hit quite a low point I have to say. I tried to take both my kids to a restaurant for breakfast with a few members of my family. A crisp day and the restaurant has a great view over an airfield so we can see planes taking off/landing too so should be interesting for boys. Auty son simply didn't want to be a part of it and refused to sit down with us. After a couple of trips to the toilet with him , which was principally to play with the doors, I nearly gave up. Looking around at a few other dads with their boys, enjoying the special treat I just felt so low. Whilst my normal son was tucking into his hot buttered toast, I was trying to stop auty from opening/shutting the restaurant front door whilst flapping his hands. The stares were coming from all angles and I felt so bad that I could not sit down with my kids like a normal Dad. In the end, we left the restaurant amidst screaming and a few slaps to my face from auty. I managed to hold back the tears for my normal son as I didn't want him to see Daddy stressed. The rest of the day was very quiet.



With Christmas coming we are trying to get family to give auty, age appropriate presents. Its too easy to give Tubbies, flashing light games and noisy stuff. He likes it but doesn't help him progress so ELC toys are good to make him learns alphabet, numbers, colours etc. Have to say that he normally has little interest in opening presents. If he finds a DVD then thats him pretty much done for the day. His Christmas day food will likely be the same as last year. This will be all yellowy in clour so a combination of pancakes, spaghetti, chips, bread, toast, crisps etc. He has no interest in puddings, chocolate, mince pies.

Have a fantastic week!!!!

Dad of auty.

Off with a BANG!!!

Hello,



a brief blog from me this week. We tried a family night out at an organised firework party hoping we could all be together for something and not let autism win for a change, and slpit the family outing up. We arrived nice and early and tried to get familiar with the surroundings and lead up to the big event calmly. One hour later and the wheels fell off with my auty son. No interest in the mini fair ground, the indoor childrens games or the huge bonfire that was due to be lit. All focus was on the doors in the club, specifically the toilets. As we had at least one hour before the actual fireworks, we simply ran out of things to keep his focus and had to split up with my wife and auty son leaving.



Happily, they returned just before the fireworks began so we were together as a family for a while anyway. Unsurprisingly, he did not like the fireworks and hid most of the time in my shoulder whilst I carried him. However, he did not want to leave as he liked the purple rockets? Needless to say that "normal" son loved every minute.



This leads me to my last part of this weeks blog. How do you explain to your normal son that when your younger, smaller, autistic son hits you, on a regular basis, that you have to try and ignore it and not flatten him? The times he smacks his older brother is when he is stressed and wants a reaction from me or Mummy. We try and stop this before it happens of course but its the explanations afterwards that are so hard and tug at the heart strings.

I am not sure if the blogs are being read anymore so if you are please let me know.

Thanks!!!



When autism is in your family its a huge learning process that has no end, but we have to get our heads around it. However, from an adults point of view its easier to understand than looking at it from a kids angle.