Heres looking at you kid!!!

Hi,



been having a fun half-term with my boys. Took time off work for quality time and loved it. Have to say that the light switches are still a favourite but another trait has slowly arisen.............reflections!!!! Looking in a mirror or a shop window is a source of wonder to my special one. He will stare at himself and move slowly sideways, sometimes looking at his back, and then looking away and looking back very quickly as if to try and catch the reflection out. I was told this would happen at some point by a friend who is on the spectrum but a few years older. It's like having a crystal ball as they also hinted we may have issues with flies and switches. Who knows what is coming up and in a way I don't want to know as I cant imagine it will be a positive thing.



Anyway, after reading the blog of Josh, his thoughts on what inspires him got me thinking. Mine is kind of in a reverse way to his. My folks are simply awesome and have made the person I have become. However, looking at, loving and living with my wife and children is what is making me a man.

My special one son is my biggest inspiration when I have down moments. I simply think of him with a teacher trying so hard to say one word or command, for hours on end until he understands its meaning, can actually say it and knows when to use it. Sometimes its too hard to watch as the struggle brings tears to your eyes. What inspires him is something I cant imagine we will ever know.


Getting back to light switches for a minute...............this weekend was a step up in intensity on this front. Light switches were turned on and off extremely quickly whenever nobody was looking. Not just on OR off, but rapid on/off/on/off/on/off. Once we say stop and are within his vision he will ask us to leave him alone using his limited vocabulary eg, Daddy go get milk, Daddy go outside, Daddy train. If we stay within his vision he will revert to an autistic trait (of ours) of turning his head away from eye-gazing or put a hand in front of his eyes and simply inch towards doing exactly the same thing, only slower. Its as if he thinks that if he cant see us, then we cant see him. This has happened for a few years. Does anybody else recognise this too?

Half term over now and there was no stressful situations about not wanting to go which is a godsend. I think he likes school for the singing they do as he is usually very happy and will often regale us with a nursery rhyme.

This weekend we tried a newly opened indoor soft play place locally. This was huge with mini bumper cars, slides, balls, climbing frames etc. For the two hours we were there, his fascination lay solely in the doors of the cafe, toilets and exit. Cue the strange looks of other parents as we try to usher him away onto the great facilities.

Have a great week.

Hubby of DIL.

No flies on me!!!

Hiya,

back again on a beautiful Monday morning.

One nice point of the week was a fly in our house!! This normally creates chaos with my son screaming and general flapping of arms. This time was different.......his simple reaction of pointing to the fly and saying "small fly". Back to playing and ignoring the fly. It was as if the last two years of utter "insect" induced craziness in our house never existed. I was very happy as you can imagine and I know its a lot of work by our special teachers and us in dealing with this issue.

To a lesser extent the draw/door opening and shutting slacked off this week. However, it is being replaced by this weeks new entry, straight in at number one........light switches!!!!! This began with the light in the back of the car and has moved to any light switch in the house, now they are within reach. The amount of stimulation he gleans from this is unbelievable. I wish I could find something that did that to me!!! Seriously, we are trying to address it and I hope this doesnt take two years.

School seems to be bringing out the social side of my son. He has a couple of friends at school who have taken to him and dont react to his different ways and lack of communication. I have mentioned his parallel playing before but a couple of times this weekend I saw him actively try and play with his brother and other children at a park. I mean HE initiated it physically by chasing/following or trying to join in. This is a huge step for us and him of course. Verbally he is still limited and cant get his intention across.

On the work side of school, his class are learning the alphabet. The class is expected to recognise them all in three weeks. My son is trying to learn one letter a week. This again rams home the impact autism has on a childs life and learning curve. Its hard not to get upset for him when you know he is trying but it just wont sink in.

How spooky!!! Just got an email from the NAS regarding a 10k run I am doing in May next year. Its the Bupa 10000 and they are happy for me to run for them. Its good as I can run for my sons charity and I have a great reason to get fit. :-)

One last thing that is also stimulating for him, that drives us and the neighbours bonkers.......the volume on the TV. If he is able, the volume will be full blast especially if its DVD time. Pingu at number 100 on the TV is a little too loud for us but he loves it. He has no hearing issues but just gets excited by the noise.

Have a great week!!!!

The good, the bad and the rugby.

Hi again,



after a fantastic weekend I thought I would type the latest from our household.



I had to take a step back over the weekend and rein in my Daddy urges to fix a normal playground situation. My sons were playing at a park and a girl of perhaps four years old spotted my autistic son wasn't quite the same. I think they have an instinct as he looks "normal" and was playing perfectly well with no screaming, self stimulation or gazing into space.

Anyway, she began calling him a baby to which he had no concept, no interest and happily carried on playing. My elder son came over to where I was sitting close by and was visibly upset by this. I was immensely proud as he is usually fiercely protective of his l'il bro and usually lets his temper take over and gives it back verbally and protects him. After a little chat with me he went back to the situation and made sure the girl wasn't able to be too close to his l'il bro and the situation was diffused. He did have a couple of sneaky words with her too which I was aware and proud of. Nothing sinister, rude or threatening, just loyal.



I have to say that the little girls parents weren't oblivious to this and I found that a little discouraging. I was very close to resolving the issue with the parents but could tell this would have escalated it to another level. I have mentioned this before but its a case of educating people that autism isn't threatening, its just looking at things from a unique angle. :-)



Anyway, sun was shining and we squeezed in a last BBQ of the year. The grandparents came over and it was just one of those great days. Nothing special happened but the boys played so well together that you would never think that often there is parallel playing with them.



The complete and utter fascination with opening and closing doors is becoming a big problem now. The reward for good behaviour in Fresco supermarket has been a two-minute play with the lift or doors. This is gradually being whittled down and we know that the time will come when the piercing screams and/or running off will happen very shortly when the zero-time for doors is upon us. At home we have a nice kitchen with the soft closing doors on the cupboards and drawers. This is Christmas everyday for my son. He will open one of the doors and be physically stimulated as it slowly closes. This takes the shape of hand flapping, a huge smile and an intense stare. It is easy to let him do this as its a safe environment, he is happy and leaves some time for quality time with the eldest son. Obviously we don't do this but it just highlights the parts of autism that I just cant fathom out. I just want to get inside his head and see the thoughts but I know this is the wish of all parents in the same boat.



At school he is still enjoying it and has got some homework now too!!! Ok, its just a picture book with no words and we read it to him, but its a kind of the normality we are looking for. We make sure he has "homework-time" like his big bro and that his big bro sees this too. On the flip side, he is due to go full time after Christmas but his shadow and the school don't have funding for him having a full time shadow. The worst case scenario is that when the shadow leaves at lunchtime, he will simply do as he pleases and leave the school grounds. As he has no concept of danger, this could be through the main gates or through a hedge opening. We have also been advised that he wont get into his special school until end of 2008 at the earliest. Until now we have been encouraged by the support of the local authorities but we are now taking advice on what is the best route for his needs.



Wasn't the rugby fantastic!!??? So much so that my eldest now wants to play rugby, but not when its cold. Obviously. :-) My autistic boy is fantastic at football and is now up to volleying the ball at ferocious speeds and heights, of which our neighbours can testify. "Can we have our ball back please"? The funny thing with this is that our friends and some family say its the rainman thing where autistic people have a "gift". "He could be the first autistic footballer you know". I know its people being kind and trying to give us hope and it takes me back to my impressions of autism a few years ago. Bear with me for a second and let me enjoy every daddy's dream though and pretend it could happen. He is banging them in for my fave team, earning 100k a week and I am his adviser, translator and of course, proud dad! All he wants is to do is boot the ball hard as he can and come home with Daddy to play with his OWN kitchen cupboard doors. I could live with that. Heh heh.



Take care and have a great week!!